UPDATE UPDATE

Wow, after several years ive decided to try and resurrect this little blog of mine. I recently told a friend I missed having a place to write. Then out of nowhere a blog "challenge" if you will came about on a public group im in. So here I am and I'm going to try and keep this thing going. Bare with me as I make changes and update content. Feel free to sift through my old posts, you just might learn something new about me....

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Writer's Workshop: Mother's. Warning Mom - you will cry.

5.) Mother’s Day is coming…what is the secret behind the close bond you have with your mom? OR What do you do to create that close bond with your kids?
Mama's Losin' It

My mom and I have always had a one of a kind bond.  She was a single mom and was young and unwed when she had me.  She faced a lot of hardships in her decision to have me and she did it with honor.  She tried really hard to give me everything she could and to build the kind of relationship with me that she herself didn't have with her mom.  My mom and I have always shared something special that a lot of people don't understand.  My mom is my best friend, well okay, best female friend. 

My mom worked hard to build a good relationship with me.  She taught me early on that I didn't need to be ashamed to come to her with any of my problems or be afraid to tell her anything.  My mom bought me alcohol - she would say she'd rather know what and how much I was drinking in college instead of me trusting other's to provide something that may not have been safe.  She said under supervision was better than not.  She helped me get on birth control pills before becoming sexually active so I didn't repeat her mistake of being a young unwed mother.  She let me gossip about kissing boys and cry over cheating boyfriends.  Even today, being married, I can turn to my mommy for love advice or sexual advice.  Heck, she paid for yeast infection medicine for me tonight.  I know that's silly, but even at 26 my mommy comes to my rescue.

I have struggled with eating disorders since junior high.  She threatened to put me in a hospital when I was younger, to protect me.  She let me come home after college in tears because I had reached a new low and was having severe pain due to mistreating myself.  She held my hand, made sure I was eating healthy and regularly (and was keeping it down) and got me on my feet again.  These days my mom is more support than I could ever ask for, even joining weight watchers with me at one point to help me in learning to lose weight the correct way.  She has been my biggest supporter and has always seen me as beautiful, at my skinnest and now at my heaviest. 

My true respect for my mom only came recently, in the form of a little boy named Aiden.  I didn't really learn how much my mom gave to me and loved me until Aiden was born.  She was there at the hospital and held me still as I shook from the pain of contractions.  She waited and cried with my husband as they took me away for an emergency c-section.  She held my newborn son and helped me to breastfeed.  Even when I was becoming a mom, she was still my mom and kissed me as I went in terror to have my son.  No matter how old you are, you really are always someone's baby!  My mom is helping me fight my battle with PPD - she has been encouraging, and loving and helping me to find my way.  Just today she said she believes that through my writing I will help someone else.  That's just the kind of thing a mother says. 

I hope to teach Aiden the things my mom has taught me.  To be strong, confident, loving and funny.  My mom started traditions for the holiday's that I want to continue.  She always buys us new pj's to wear to bed, and a new ornament to hang on the tree Christmas eve.  She has now started doing the same for my hubby too.  We have homemade chili on halloween.  She gives us a card for each holiday.  We have family game nights.  All these things, and many more, I hope to continue with my own family.

I hope to be half the mom that my mom is.  I already feel like I'm falling behind in her tracks, but without a doubt she will help me along my own path.  She is my mom.  She is my hero.  She is my best friend.  She is my therapist.  She is my everything. 

Happy Mother's Day (early!) Mommy.  I know you read this, are probably sobbing, and are about to call me.  Hehe.  :)

5 comments:

makemommygosomethingsomething said...

What a beautiful post...heck ya had me in tears!!

I'm Just Sayin' - Kerri said...

My dearest Kerri - You were my rescue. As I have always told you, God brought you to me when I needed you most! It was no mistake to have you - and you have always, always been a blessing to me. I feel so very lucky that God chose me to be your mommy. I love you so much, and you are such a wonderful wife and mother - Kris and Aiden are so lucky. You made me cry in the first sentence! Love Mommy

zombies man... zombies. said...

What you have with your mother is truly amazing. This is a beautiful bond that no one could ever break.

And your son is so cute!

Erin said...

Isn't it amazing how becoming a mom makes you realize just all the sacrifices our own moms had to make?? I get all kinds of sappy about my mom since I've had my boys!

Glad you have an unbreakable bond like my mom and I too!!

Pammie said...

A good mom is something I've always wanted. Reading your post makes me feel more committed than ever to being a better mom than my own mother.

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