Wow, after several years ive decided to try and resurrect this little blog of mine. I recently told a friend I missed having a place to write. Then out of nowhere a blog "challenge" if you will came about on a public group im in. So here I am and I'm going to try and keep this thing going. Bare with me as I make changes and update content. Feel free to sift through my old posts, you just might learn something new about me....

Thursday, October 28, 2010

One Bad Thing After Another...

My papa had a hip replacement years and years ago.... I remember being little.  Well in the last 3 weeks my papa has been in the hospital 3 times.  Once for difficultly breathing/loss of weight/dizzy, once for a UTI on Sunday, and then today he fell getting out of the shower {in the assisted living place we moved him to 3 weeks ago after his 1st ER trip} trying to answer the phone and he broke his hip! 

He has surgery in the early am - it's 1:17am now and we just heard from the Dr. {he fell around 7pm} that he has a bad break.  Here is his xray....

I am just worried sick now.  It's going to be a long haul for him to recover from this and it's been down hill since June for him.  I just feel like we are losing him - I know that is morbid, but I feel like it's down hill from here and he probably won't walk again.  Just keep us in your prayers if you are the praying kind.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

2 years of marriage

Yesterday was our 2 year wedding anniversary.  My day started off by being surprised with a dozen red roses and a sweet card on my dresser.  I rolled over when I woke up to see the clock and there they were...

I loved them.  I don't get flowers often, a random single picked rose from the yard here or there, but not a full on bouquet to put on display!  They are perfect too, huge, full, rich red roses.  Hubby did good.  Then I was served my morning Peppermint coffee with Peppermint Mocha creamer in bed.   What a way to wake up!
I also was treated to a bagel and cream just, just the way I like it {tons of cream cheese please!} for breakfast.  Kris and I took some time to lay in front of the fire cuddling {in our underthings to make it special!} while Aiden took his morning nap.  We made time for some fun, more spiced up for the occasion, maritals during the day too!
We didn't do anything super special, I mean we went to Target by ourselves so I could buy a red scarf for our family photos that are tomorrow.  It doesn't matter though.  We spent the time together and we remembered that 2 years ago we were full of excitement and we prepared to say "I do". 

The last 2 years haven't always been easy, and filled with joy, but they have been wonderful none the less.  I am more in love with my husband today than when we got married, I look forward to growing old with him and one day sitting in our porch rocking chairs watching a slew of happy grandkids playing in the yard.  I am blessed and I know it.  I couldn't have asked for a better husband and father.  He loves me just the way I am. 

Saturday, October 23, 2010

My New FAV WW snack...

Okay ladies, here is my newest snack.  I can't take credit for it, the idea came from my Weight Watchers magazine, but this snack is super yummy and filling.  And those of you on WW it is between 2-3pts depending on the type of ingredients you use.

-  1 La Tortilla Factory Smart & Delicious Low Fat/High Fiber tortilla.  {these are 1pt each!}
-  2 tbs of hummus {the recipe called for plain hummus, but I used Sabra roasted pine nut hummus - YUM!}
-  2/3 cup plain coleslaw mix

Spread hummus on tortilla and then sprinkle coleslaw on top.  Wrap like a burrito and enjoy!  Oh soo simple and filling.  I loved it, and using the pine nut hummus it went from 2pts up to 3.  Totally worth it in my book!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Let's talk about "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo"....

Okay so I have heard soo much hoopla about this book.  How wonderful it is, everyone is reading it and talking about it.  It's going to be a movie...but umm I am 85 pages in and I still am not hooked.  I am going to keep reading, because it seems like the good stuff might be just around the corner, but am I missing something?  I even saw some man reading the 2nd book at Red Robin the other day and was almost jealous he couldn't seem to put it down. 

Did you get hooked right away or did it take you a good 100 pages to get sucked in?  Will it pick up it's pace soon?  I feel like I have gotten a lot of boring details so far.  Please tell me that I will still love this book, I'm feeling sad that I don't see the big deal yet. 

I hope this doesn't turn into Eat, Pray, Love for me - I couldn't even finish that darn book it was soo awful for me.  *sigh*

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

A serious subject - about my hubby and my PPD/A

I haven't been on here much, I guess I've been neglecting my blog.  I keep posting pictures, but nothing of substance.  I will try to work on that.

I wanted to share something very personal today with you all and just ask for your thoughts for my family.  Kris is struggling.  He has been picking up soo much of my slack from me having PPD/A and have been saying yes to every request made of him.  He wants to make everyone happy and in the end he of course made himself unhappy.

I have seen this coming on for a while now.  He tells me to just relax, read a book, go blog etc, and he will take care of Aiden, laundry, housework and me.  I tell him I am doing better, and he sees a difference in me since I started therapy, but he is just afraid that I will get frustrated and have a set back.  People know he is a talented mechanic and therefore he is always being asked to use his discount and gets parts for his cousin, to check out a problem for someone else, do routine maintenance on everyones cars and he does love it, but he is starting to regret people knowing his talent.  He told me not long ago he feels used.  That people only want him for what he can do and not who he is.

Lately he has been slinking around and being quiet.  I know he's holding something in.  I don't know what exactly brought it on but Monday he just collapsed.  He had 3 different breakdowns and the last one had me hysterical enough to call my own mom to come over to comfort me.  It hurt soo much to see such a strong man crying out for help that I felt I couldn't give him.  After a long talk with all the family and many tears Kris had finally shared how he had been feeling.  Poor Kris was soo upset he doesn't even know what he said, it just poured out for him. 

I bought him a nice leather bound journal for our anniversary next week and gave that to him early so he could start to write everyday.  He's been writing when he can't sleep, if we had a great day or a bad day.  I think in the long run it will help him express himself better.  My mom took him to a movie the other day, just the two of them.  His dad took him to home depot and bought a new work table Kris wanted.  Today he is at the junk yard getting parts he wants.  He and I had a quiet dinner together at Red Robin without Aiden.  And the biggest step of all - he is joining me at therapy tomorrow!

Hopefully therapy will help him feel better, if he keeps going with me that is okay, but if he wants to talk to someone alone that is great too.  Either way I think just admitting he was feeling overwhelmed and depressed was wonderful for him.  Has anyone else with PPD noticed their spouse getting a version of caregiver stress??

Just keep us in your thoughts and prayers.  My hubby and I are strong people and we love each other deeply, we just need to find a way for us both to be sane again.  I have heard about the terrible twos - who knew it applied to marriage too.  At least it's not a problem with US, we just need to learn to take care of ourselves better so we can be there for each other.

Wordless Wednesday - Day at the Park

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