Wow, after several years ive decided to try and resurrect this little blog of mine. I recently told a friend I missed having a place to write. Then out of nowhere a blog "challenge" if you will came about on a public group im in. So here I am and I'm going to try and keep this thing going. Bare with me as I make changes and update content. Feel free to sift through my old posts, you just might learn something new about me....

Monday, January 31, 2011

We Love Cloth!

Cotton Babies opened up a store here in vancouver wa!  Soo exciting to have a local store near us {the others are only in Missouri!}.  I don't know why they randomly picked here, maybe it has to do with all the Portland Or hippies!  lol

Anyway, they had a grand opening this Saturday and were giving away free diapers. Of course I didn't get lucky enough to win one, but Mom, Aiden and I had a really good time standing in line for almost 3 hours and buying more cloth diapers! They had a great sale, I ended up with 2 hemp inserts and 8 new diapers! Here are some pictures from Aiden's first "stand in line for hours" event. {It won't be his last either, we are line standers for concerts, openings and sales on Black Friday!}

The line went to the back of the building and wrapped around back to the front.
 Aiden trying to make friends.
 Mommy and Aiden in line.

He is giving this girl a look like she made fun of his leash backpack.

The building from across the lot.
 They had yummy mini-cupcakes and drinks and cookies once you got inside.
 He was such a GOOD BOY!  He didn't really get fussy the entire 3 hours in line at all.

My loot!  4 AIO BG's on clearance {I'm going back for small ones for future babies too!}, a Blueberry cow print, a Swaddlebees lemon-lime dot, 2 BG's artist series and 2 hemp liners!
Aiden sporting one of his new diapers this morning.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Ode To Potatoes - Writer's Workshop

Oh Potatoes how I love thee,
let me count the ways...

I love thee baked and soft
with plenty of buttery goodness,
sour cream and cheese to top it off
a meal in itself.

Red or Russet,
big or small,
it matters not to me
wonderful they all are.

I love thee fried
southern style please,
with scrambled eggs
and bacon to boot.

I love thee when you are french fried and salty
with ketchup and mustard,
mixed if you would
or ranch to dunk you in

I love thee in homemade potato soup
such a comfort food,
on a cold fall day,
with melted cheese floating on top
and crusty bread
Oh Potatoes,
how great are you
so filling and versatile
you are my favorite food.

Join Mama Kat and write a poem about your favorite food!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

My mom told him to "smile" and this was what she got.  It reminds us all of how Chandler smiles on FRIENDS.


Do you have a dream space?  You know, something you just have it your head and you wish one day it will come true?  I do, it's a nice space for crafting.  Right now I sew on a desk in the corner of our bedroom.  It's certainly not the best.  Overstock.com wrote me and asked me to talk about some of their products, I think it's the perfect opportunity to put my dream space down to share with you all.  Without further ado.... some of the things I dream of.

1}  Let's start with Cabinets.  This is the White Finish Tall Microwave Cabinet, Item#: 11086738.  I realize it says it's a microwave cupboard, but it seems perfect to me!  It's hard to tell with the image above, but the top portion has glass doors.  Can't you just image a neat folded stack of beautiful fabrics through those doors?  You could keep a small machine on the shelf the microwave is supposed to go, like a serger or bobbin winder.  I'd put together a notebook with all my patterns and tutorials and have that handy too!  It has a pull out drawer and 2 additional shelves on the bottom with a door.

2}  Area Rugs.  Hand-woven Bosstyn Aqua Blue Wool Blend Rug (8' x 11'), Item#: 13293801.  Is this not the most vibrant color ever?  I found the framed mirror first, which comes later, but this rug was a wonderful addition to my dream space.  I would love to have everything white and classic and then have these bright pops of color! 

3}  Bookcase.  Verena Contoured Leveled Display Cabinet/ Bookcase, Item#: 12114971.  I love this multi-leveled shelf.  I would put some beautiful vases on it, perhaps a few frames and this would be a wonderful place to line up some small glass jars with different colored buttons or add a rod and hang rolls of ribbon. 

4}  Desks.  White Writing Desk, Item#: 80071032.  I realize this desk is a writing desk and not a sewing desk.  I don't care.  I love the handles, I love the clean simple look of it.  Ideally I would get two of them and put them together in an L-shape.  I could have my cutting mat on one desk and my machine on the other.  It does have a pull out drawer for a keyboard, assuming you'd put a computer on there.  I would probably put whatever current pattern I happen to be using there to keep it close, or maybe some of the smaller quilt pieces I won't use right away so they don't get lost on the table.

5}  Office Furniture.  Manhattan Conference White Chair, Item#: 11231802.  I just LOVE that this sleek modern desk chair has no arms.  Most desk chairs that swivel have arms, but when I'm sewing and cutting up and down to cut or measure I find that the arms on a chair get in the way.  Problem solved this with beauty.  It's made with solid steel framing and washable leatherette material - essential when you have kids {or a mom who loves coffee while she sews... hehe}. 

6}  Table Lamps.  Yoko 17-inch Accent Lamp (China), Item#: 10571683.  I am totally digging the aqua and green lamps shown.  I can see putting one of each on different shelves of the bookcase above, or putting one of each on the 2 desks.  They add a little color and fun while of course being super functional.  You need good lighting to create beautiful work!

7}  Mirrors.  Recycled Wood Maha Jigsaw Framed Mirror (Thailand), Item#: 13359102.  The jigsaw style wood frame is handmade with recycled wood from old boats and houses in Thailand.  I saved the best for last!  This framed mirror is what would really make the space.  I just LOVE how unique this piece is.  The best part is it is only $79.99!  I could even get 2 for that price and hang them horizontally next to each other.  So beautiful!

So there you have it.  Some of the things I would buy from overstock.com if I have the money, and of course the space!  What would you buy?  Do you have a dream space or are you redecorating a home?  Well you are in luck - stop dreaming like me and actually go buy something! 

Overstock.com gave me and my readers a wonderful chance to save 10% off!  The promotional code is:  121745.  It can be used only once by each email, but it has no expiration date!  Use it now, or save it for later.  It does exclude movies, books, and electronics, however, if you are buying electronics, here is a handy code for free shipping!  202234. 

All the ideas and opinions expressed are my own. No monetary compensation was received for doing this post, however, I was provided with a discount code.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Writer's Workshop

5.) How has social media changed you?

It has only changed me for the better.  I could tell you all about my previous obsession with myspace, or how I currently check facebook 5 times a day.  I tried tweeting once, but it just wasn't for me.  My blog though, my blog is the best social media I could have ever asked for.
My blog offers me a chance to document all the important things in my life.  Like when Aiden was born, I shared it online for all the world to see.  I was able to type up my birth story while it was still fresh in my mind for him to read one day.  I have been able to share his growth with everyone, and in the same respect watch my online friends' children grow up too!
Most importantly though, my blog has given me support and encouragement.  When I first started struggling with PPD and PPA there was a whole community of ladies who loved me and offered me help and prayers.  It worked, I felt that by sharing my story and stress maybe I could be helpful to someone else.  I felt overwhelmed by the out pour of strangers who genuinely cared.
Lately I have been feeling extremely blessed again.  There have been some tough things going on in my life/marriage and after months of keeping it all in I shared it with my online friends.  I don't know why I didn't sooner, because instead of people judging me/us/my husband, I have received a ton of emails and comments telling me they are thinking of me, don't give up, prayers are sent my way.  I haven't been to church regularly, but in times of need my blog seems be like a church family, lifting me up and holding my hand.  I couldn't have asked for better. 
Inspired by Mama Kat's Prompts.  Join in here...
Mama's Losin' It
PS - if you are new to my blog you can read the last few posts I've written HERE and HERE to get a short update on things that are troubling me. 

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I wish I could...

I wish I could go back in time so I would see what to expect and know how to prevent it.

I wish I could have another cup of coffee right now, with homemade bailey's in it.

I wish I could ignore the baby crying instead of sleeping.

I wish I could convince my husband to get help for himself and for us.

I wish I could take back the mean things said out of anger and frustration.

I wish I could ignore the things said to me out of anger and frustration.

I wish I could afford more sewing fabric and accessories.

I wish I could keep everything organized and clutter free.

I wish I could go sit in the rain and not get cold.

I wish I could just disappear for a day and start over the next day.

I wish I could have all the answers.

I wish I could install a nanny cam so that my husband could see that no one came in and drank his juice today, that it was in fact him, he just doesn't remember.  He probably still wouldn't believe it though....

I wish I could eat everything in sight right now.  I am such an emotional eater and I just want to eat jo-jos and ranch and cheese enchiladas and ben and jerry's ice cream.  I just want to eat myself sick.

I wish I could cry, but I don't have the energy.

I wish I could have beautiful flowers in my home to look at everyday.

I wish I could just do anything other than do what I'm doing now.

Wordless Wednesday

Sunday, January 16, 2011

I'm having a rough time...Heavy stuff, please read if you really care.

{Mom I'm warning you this might make you all sad.  Please don't be, I love you.  I just felt the need to be sad today and share it.}

Lately I feel like I'm sinking.  I feel empty and lost.  I know it's depression getting the best of me, but days like today I kind of enjoy it.  I know that is sick to say, but I enjoy being quiet, sitting in bed all day, sulking and listening to the rain.

Life is starting to get me down.  I'm feeling a bit like I'm fool-hearty in believing in happy endings.  I haven't seen a lot of happy marriages.  I thought that I would finally break that cycle and be overwhelmingly successful and happy in mine.  We aren't.  Things are stressed.  We have both been unemployed for way too long, me 2 years {sort of by choice} and my husband for a year and a few months.  We are stressed financially and are living with family.  Living with family just adds more stress, like lack of privacy.

Our love life is up and down.  Some weeks we make love like rabbits and then weeks like this week I don't want to be touched at all and he swears he doesn't care about nookie anymore.  I know part of that is just my antidepressants.  I have had trouble with them and my sex drive since I started them.  Part of it though is really just a lack of connection and closeness lately. 

I haven't mentioned on here what has been going on for months.  I haven't really talked about anything personal because it's too hard.  My husband is struggling.  He is depressed but thinks nothing can help.  He is paranoid {as in that someone is in our home, that all his clothes have fiberglass on them, that people are looking through his stuff, and that I am out to get him} and starting to obsess over things.  It's scaring me and I've talked to his family, my family, my therapist, and even had him talk to my therapist about it.  It doesn't seem to matter though.  He thinks nothing is wrong, we have several "normal" days and then days like last night where I was up until 3 while he went on about his clothes having fiberglass on them and needing to rewash everything {much of his clothes just came out of the laundry as it is} and how he KNEW someone was here.  He spent over an hour inspecting every article of clothing he had and sure enough they were all contaminated.  He also put tape on the window screen and set a trap in our closet to prove someone was here.

Sometimes like last night I just shut down.  I just laid in bed from 10pm on and tried to sleep.  Aiden woke up at 3 and it was Kris' turn to get him back to sleep.  Sleep finally came for me around that time and I slept until 9am.  I just cried silently to sleep.  Nothing else I can do.  I see a problem, but can't fix it.  I feel like no one else sees it the way I do.  Kris always says that "no one sees you like I do.  You are different, you aren't the same and you have changed", but really I think he has changed and I'm just trying to adapt and walk on egg shells. 

I don't mean to share all this to make my husband sound bad.  I love and adore him soo much.  I believe with all my heart that God made us for each other.  I know that this is just a challenge God has placed before us, but I just keep praying for answers and strength and I feel like I'm getting nothing.  I want to grow old with my husband, and I will.  I just don't know if I will grow old being unhappy and stressed or if things will turn back around and I will have the fairytale ending everyone wants. 

I'm just sad today.  I am going to see my best friend, who until today has been left in the dark.  I told Kris today I can't pretend to be happy.  I'll put on a happy face and keep fighting for happiness tomorrow, but today I need to be sad.  So I'm sorry for this horribly depressing post.  Tomorrow I will be happy again. 

If you have any kind words or wisdom, or could just offer up some prayers I would really appreciate it today. 

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Granny on Christmas

Christmas was always my Granny's favorite holiday.  That's where my mom and I got it from.  We love the presents, the decorating, the songs, spending time as a big family.  We took Aiden and my brother to see Granny on Christmas Day after we did our presents.  It was soo very special.  Granny loved on Aiden just as usual, she even talked baby talk to him and played with him.  It was priceless and I'm soo glad that we have these memories on film.  Also I was carrying my red clutch and in true Granny fashion she noticed my purse.  She is where I get my purse obsession from, and even though she may not know who I am some days, she ALWAYS knows my purse!  This time she refused to give it back to me so I had to empty it out and I gave it to her for Christmas.  She even knew who we were for a bit.  She also said Brock was her favorite, always has been, but now he has to compete with Aiden.  It was really amusing and just like Granny.  Here are the pictures...

 She recognized us, it was really special.

Just like Granny, even if she doesn't understand or remember anything she lights up when she see jewelry, babies and purses. 

AIden trying to push Granny in her big stroller chair.  :) 
An old fashioned stroller Kris and I found.  It was the neatest thing ever and I'm sure the really old residents push it around.
You couldn't understand her, but you knew she was talking baby talk.  You can even see it in this picture how sweet you is talking to Aiden.

 Papa and Granny on Christmas.

She wouldn't give that purse back at all!  She even started to cry when I took it away to take my stuff out of it.
Letting granny have my purse.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Sick Boy & A Video

We have had a sick boy on our hands.  He got his shots on Tuesday afternoon and on Wednesday he started running a fever.  We thought at first it was just normal reaction to the shots, gave him Tylenol and went about our way.  He wouldn't eat much either, but we all had sore throats so we thought perhaps he did too. 

Wednesday night I was rocking him to sleep {an hour early because he seemed worn out and not feeling well} and 4oz into his bedtime bottle the kid went exorcist on me.  He spewed milk like a hose on high and it not only got ALL over me, but about 2.5feet away.  It was projectile vomit at it's best.  I'd never seen anything like it!  We took his temp because he was burning to the touch, 102.2.  Called the pedi.
They said it was most like the stomach bug going around or a virus.  To try Motrin instead and push pedialyte and no milk.  So we finally got him to sleep that night.  At 2am his fever was back up to 103!  By morning it was only down to 102.6.  So we went in to have him looked at.  Poor guy, they did a strep test which was awful for him, but he passed it.  It appears to be just a virus. 

The pedi said so long as he doesn't puke he can eat what he wants when he tells us he's hungry.  That he will probably have a high fever for 72 hours and if it isn't going down by Sunday to come back in.  Poor little guy, he's just been laying around in footie jammies and watching cartoons.  Eating chicken noodle soup and mini saltines.  He did start drinking milk okay again today without getting sick, but his fever is still 102.9 as of an hour ago.

Anyone else have a little one sick right now?  Is Special Agent Oso as much of a comfort to you as it is in our house?   I am enjoying all the extra cuddles and seeing my boys be sweet together, but it's really sad too.

Here is a video of sick boy waiting at the dr's.  He learned to drink from a real cup by himself without spilling. 

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

That's a mannequin..... saw this in a parking lot.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Aiden is 15 Months old!

Where did my baby boy go?  He's all grown up now and I can't handle it!  He is soo much fun at this age, and for the most part really well behaved. 

Aiden is:
85% for weight at 27.6lbs
99% for height at 35.5inchs - almost 3 feet!  He has always been 99% for height!

He took his shots like a big boy, they were in his arms this time and it made it worse.  He actually saw it happening and the look on his face was awful, he was soo upset and the big tears.  The nurse had a hard time holding him to give him his shots, she said "boy he's strong!" and Kris had to help hold him.  Also the nurse forgot that he was only 15 months old!  The Dr. said he's doing great, and would like him to be off the bottle at 18 months.

-   He got his first real haircut, bye bye curls.
-   He has 14 teeth cut
-   He wears mostly 24 month and 2T because he's soo long.
-   He laughs when he farts
-   He copies you when you burp, cough or make any other mouth noise
-   He ate part of his first crayon this week, hello blue poop!
-   He managed to open his bedroom door by himself yesterday
-   He can go up and down stairs standing holding the wall/the rail or you hand with one hand
-   He can climb up onto EVERYTHING - desks, beds, toilets, tubs, bar stools etc, climbs down too
-   He sits in chairs likes a big boy to eat, doesn't like to use his booster or high chair
-   He can tell you what he wants, he will grab your arm and pull you and then point or just stand and point
-   He still won't sleep through the night consistently which sucks for us
-   He hasn't eaten much if any baby food in months, he still likes the Gerber snacks though
-   He can open all boxes, latches, locks
-   He turns on and off the lights and knows "on and off" if you ask him

-   Here is a list of words he can say:  Bye, No, Yes, Woof Woof for dog {he makes the sound}, Nana for banana, mama, Dad {he yells this often}, Yeff {as in uncle Jeff}, Bra {as in uncle Brock}, he says Lola sometimes and has said "Lita" which is his Lola's name, all done, duck, uh-oh, good girl, thank you, hello, ahh {like to open his mouth and eat", nigh nigh, he has said a few phrases like "that one", "right there", he knows "book" and bath he says "baff", he says "ha" for hot, he understands sit, lie down, bring it to me or "share".  That's just the things I can think of off the top of my head.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Christmas Morning Part 2

This is Christmas morning with my family now.  We were all soo very spoiled this year.

I just realized that this was my 2nd super excited face over a bag of Dove sugar free chocolates that day.

Coach Purse Money from Daddy!!
Not a good picture of me - but look at my dad and Aiden in the background.

I love my ereader, but perhaps I pose with my gifts too much??

Aiden was getting tired and he wanted more oranges so he sat by the kitchen all sad faced holding his little hands.

Trying them on....
 He wanted these Timberland boots for years and was soo excited to finally get a pair.
 That is one of those soda maker machines - he wanted it soo badly, he's a dork.  lol
 He was getting tired so he kept dragging around my mom's new pillow.

 He loved ripping open the paper.
Thanks to my dad - every day, mulitple times a day, Kris and Aiden play and sing to their keyboard.
 hand puppets.
It looks like Aiden is taking credit for the gift.

Brock made me a homemade gift basket - that was peppermint bubble bath he made himself for me.

 My husband has the best reactions.  I love him.
 Aiden and grandpa.  He wanted more oranges from my dad and actually yelled "grandpa" this day! 
 He thought we actually got him diaper wipes....since he's a germ-a-phobe.
 It was really a big ceramic starbucks coffee mug shaped coffee grind canister.

He figured out the etch-a-sketch right away.

He was thrilled out this huge box that was his from me.....
....Until he realized it was a portable massage table and it meant work for him!  lol How romantic! 
 Kris playing with his new lens filters.

Last but not least, my big gift from Kris.  It's not just a solitare diamond necklace like I wanted.... he hand picked the same size and Leo diamond stone that he had put in my engagement ring and had it placed in a setting.  He wanted my necklace to be the same size and flashiness as my ring.  He did good....
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