2 Weeks Old!

I can't believe he is 2 weeks old already. Time really is flying by way to quickly! Aiden is changing so quickly too. He can hold his head up pretty well. If I stick my tongue out at him he will copy me which is adorable. We went to the dr. Friday and he weighed in at 7lbs 11oz! The kid has almost put on a pound from his birth weight! He came home at 6lbs 3oz, so he's really put on a lot in 2 weeks. Guess all the breastfeeding trouble is worth it after all! He is getting chubby cheeks and has a little tummy too! He lost his umbilical cord stump on Tuesday. So now he has a cute belly button to kiss! His daddy is teaching him to give the "thumbs up" which he knows annoys me! *He always gives me a thumbs up in my face and wants Aiden to do the same!* We are starting to get the hang of his different cries and fussiness.


He still sleeps with us in our bed but we are starting nap times in his bed side bassinet. So we are hoping that we can transition him into that for night times and then within a few months into his crib. He loves to be held and we are starting to spoil him with it. We are spending countless nighttime hours sleeping in the rocking chair with him. Again it's okay for now, but we are trying to slow this habit down so that he will eventually be able to be put down when groggy and fall asleep on his own MOST the time. He smiles in his sleep and is staying awake and being more alert during the day. He is just soo darn adorable! Enjoy some of the more recent pictures of him. I could post a MILLION, but I will just share some of my personal favorites.

Pumpkin Patch!!

We took Aiden to the pumpkin patch yesterday and we had a blast! He wasn't super excited about it, as you can imagine, but I sure found it fun. There isn't much to talk about, we went, we took pictures....and now I will share some of those with you. Enjoy them!

Kris' Family Visit With Aiden

We went to Kris' Lola's house yesterday. Lola is grandma, so this is Aiden's great Lola! We got pictures of Lola holding Aiden and also his Aunt Chita. His other aunt was out of town. I will also include pictures of Kris' parents holding him since I have yet to share those with you. Here they are...

Breastfeeding SUCKS!

Seriously, this is the hardest thing I've ever done. I mean the 2hrs of crappy contractions were bad, but they stopped after 2hrs. Breastfeeding isn't stopping. Since day 1 - he doesn't like to latch onto my nipple so we have been using a breast shield since the hospital. It's not such a big deal to me, but it would be easier if he could just hop on the teet. Some people say that I need to stop using it, and I haven't given up trying tricks like sneaking it out mid feeding, but my thoughts are any way I can feed him is better than no boob at all!

Then came engorgement. THAT was awful! I took a picture of my boobs, but of course I won't share that here. My size 42dd boobs were even bigger and the most painful things ever. That passed after a day or 2 and I thought we were done with pain. WRONG. I have had cracked and sore nipples because they haven't "toughened up" yet. That wasn't SOO bad. Then I came down with Mastitis our first week home. My breasts became hard and were so heavy. My left one turned bright red too, my husband sure found THAT attractive! The dr. gave me an antibiotic for that little painful infection, which I am still taking. That has been a pain in the butt in itself... 4 times a day for 10 days taken on an empty stomach. Anyway, so I thought for sure that would be the end of my breast troubles...WRONG AGAIN.

As of yesterday my left breast was hurting A LOT and was getting hard again. I couldn't believe this was happening. By the time I woke up this morning it was clear what the problem is... I have a milk blister now. For those who need explanation (I know I did...) it's a clogged duct on my nipple itself that looks like white blisters. Since it's clogged the milk can't come out and so my breast is just getting filled with milk therefore getting nice and hard again. I've read online remedies to this and I have spent my entire morning with a heating pad on my breast and then pumping milk as soon as the blisters clear a bit. Oh it's awful, but I think I'm finally getting the clog out. Poor Aiden, he's stuck eating off only the right boob. What a sad story.

So there you have it, my struggle so far with breastfeeding and it's been 2 weeks and 2 days. I've read and keep being told that it really DOES get better... but it's taking too long to get there. I keep crying to Kris because I feel like giving up. I don't know if I can go another month waiting for this to improve. I almost dread some feedings just because I know how bad it will hurt to get started. I will stick with it though, I have to for Aiden. It's by far the best option for us as a family. I know how good it is for Aiden (I was a formula baby so I know formula isn't bad at all for babies...i'm just saying...) and because it's free and we are poor it for sure is worth sticking with it. Think of how much money we will save if I get past this hard part and can exclusively breastfeed him for 6 months or longer. I just had to vent, and share my struggle. I know a lot of my readers are moms and will understand. I love Aiden dearly and will go through any pain for him, and the boob troubles are just trial number 1 for him.

Now, back to my heating pad... another feeding in 2 hours....

I wish I had things to say

It seems like everytime I sit down to actually have some time online I go looking up Breastfeeding info, or I go reading more info about newborn behaviors. For example this week I learned that at 1 week old Aiden can mimic me if I stick my tongue out. Now I didn't believe it, but I tried it. You wait until they are alert but not hungry or fussy and stick your tongue out and just wait. Sure enough within a minute he had this confused look on his face and stuck his tongue out in response. He has done this over and over for me. It's more than adorable. Who knew they could do these things soo early? Online said that they see themselves as similar to you and since he uses his tongue for feeding he has learned to control it and can try to do what you do. Neat huh?

I wish I had things to say that were non baby related. I mean I love talking about Aiden and I'd be lying if I didn't say that I love you ladies being so sweet in your comments to me. However, I feel like a bad blogger! It sure doesn't help that today's Seven Clown Circus and tomorrow's Mama Kat's posts are all about being a mom. Those were not my fault! lol

Please stick around with me and I promise I'll try to get back to my normal bloggy blurbing fun. I do have one non Aiden related thing to share. Kris has been home with me still (this was not the plan but his work has been SOO slow he doesn't even go in - please pray for us that this changes VERY SOON!!) but he has been working on his online Auto coursework. As of today he finally finished and he should be getting his certificate soon. With his certificate he will be able to go and take the official Auto Mechanic Licensing test and once certified he can legally collect money for working on cars. This is his passion so I am very proud and excited for him. Cheers to my hubby. Plus it's been really nice him being home and extra week with us!

Motherhood - Wordful Wednesday

I may be new to Motherhood, but I already know what it's all about....

It's unconditional. It's stronger every day. It's changing poopy diapers one after the other. It's being peed on. It's being needed. It's stressful and yet soo easy.

It's loving your husband more each day. Watching him hold your son, kiss him, nap with him, feed him. The pic above is me looking at my husband after seeing our son for the first time. I tear up when I see it - it speaks volumes about how Motherhood makes me love him more.

Motherhood is being proud. It's being terrified everyday that something is wrong, or will happen. It's wanting to protect him from all harm at all costs.

Motherhood is the "mom smell" I now have from all the breast milk that has leaked and dried up on me. It's the pain I go through when breastfeeding and how rewarding it is. It's the sweet looks he gives me, and only me, his mom.

It's being exhausted. It's never ending. It's the best and most rewarding thing in the world. Motherhood is my job and what I will always be doing. I am a mother now and forever and I love it.

Head over to Seven Clown Circus for Wordful Wednesday to tell everyone what Motherhood is to you.

My Monkey....

I said I didn't want this...

but we have turned into cosleepers.... (note the picture below was just a nap time with daddy {I caught them BOTH snoring...} normally baby is head up so he is far away from the blanket and the boppy keeps mommy from fearing her or daddy will roll over onto him)
I had the pack n' play next to my side of the bed, with the bassinet feature, and he slept there for 1 1/2 nights. He woke up every hour and wasn't a very happy baby. So by the middle of night 2 Kris said "just put him in our bed so we can get some sleep hunny, you need to rest, you just had surgery!". Being the good wifey I am I obeyed and every night since he is in our bed. I usually finish feeding around 1130-12am and then we sleep until about 3:30 up to as late one night at 4:45 before he needs another shot at the boob and a diaper change. Then we sleep until about 6-7am. He's a good sleeper in our bed! Of course my poor boobs hate this arrangement. Being so close to little man and not wearing a bra the last 2 nights have meant waking up literally SOAKING in milk. I mean to tell you, you all will say "oh yes, the leaking..." but good lord, when your boobs are beyond a size E let me tell you the amount of milk is out of control. I can pump 3oz each breast already if that gives you a clue on my abundant supply. My poor husband finds waking up in a puddle to be disgusting, I think it's funny when woke up with his hand on me. I have to deal with it, he should too! Anyway, I didn't think I wanted to cosleep, but it's been worth it for my sanity! I told Kris we must reevaluate this situation by 3 months and get the kid into his crib.

Momma's First Paranoid Moment!

So I wasn't a paranoid preggo, I didn't call the dr. at all, I didn't take trips to Labor & Delivery, I just wasn't a worry wort. Times change when you have a baby. Aiden had a rash all over his back, chest, and arms. I wasn't worried at first, but then it got worse. I decided he must have really sensitive like his mommy and we switched to a new detergent last night (Purex free & clear because mommy can't ONLY use Purex or Gain on herself...) and I rewashed all his newborn stuff and blankets. Well by ends night I was still worried and I felt like he was breathing funny while he was nursing. He would suck for a few minutes then he would stop and act like he was having trouble breathing. Mommy instinct kicked in and I started crying and started thinking he was fussier... after having MY mom walk over at 10pm and examine him I decided for my own peace of mind I had to go to the ER.

Fast forward an hour and we are at the ER. It went really quickly and the new hospital not far from us was super nice (the hospital he was born at was 20 minutes away you see, the new one is only 10 minutes up the road). The nurses did their thing, and as soon as the saw his chest one said "oh that's just newborn rash, don't worry". And then they were all like "so.... what do you mean breathing funny?!?" Like I was making it up. I told them about the gasping while breathing. They let me give him a bottle I grabbed before we left and sure enough mommy was right!! She came back in about halfway through daddy feeding him and told me that his monitor was going crazy and he did seem to be having some trouble while eating. She then told us to feed him a bottle on his side mimicking the breastfeeding positions I use. Sure enough little man was fine on the monitor. So moral of the story is he can't breathe eating on his back and he has to eat on his side. I wonder if this has anything to do with his cord around his neck twice??

The nurses overall were kinda rude, acted like we were just dumb first time parents. Made both Kris and I a bit frustrated. Obviously our son knows a thing or two about his mom and dad because the nurse went to check his diaper and he had explosive poop right at her. It just shot out of his butt and sprayed the bed, right at her, the floor. Made Kris and I feel vindicated. :)

Their was a highlight of the night though... Little man was 6lbs 15oz at birth, he came home a week ago today at 6lbs 3oz. He had lost more than the desired 10% of his body weight. At his 1st pedi appointment on Wed (2days later) he was up to 6lbs 7oz. His dr said "I doubt he really has gained that much in 2 days, the scales from here to the hospital probably just don't match, but he has gained something for sure". Yeah well his Dr. will be eating his words at Aiden's 2 week appointment this Friday! He told us he hoped to see Aiden back to birth weight this coming Friday, last night at the ER he was at 7lbs 7oz!! That's right folks...my kid is a piggy. He likes mom's boob, just as much as his dad, and has put on an entire pound in a matter of 3 days. I am anxious to see his weight again on Friday and see his Dr's reaction!

Oh and one last thing from last night, the stupid nurse walked in asked "was he full term" and I said yes, 39w3d and she goes, "well did the dr's talk to you about his being younger than thought, he doesn't look like a 39weeker...". I said "no, actually my original due date was 2 weeks earlier, so if anything he'd be older. She just said "oh". Like she is an expert at judging babies! She deserved the poop on her!

Aiden 1 week! Mommy post baby...

Okay so instead of pregnancy updates I thought I'd now start up with baby updates. I don't know if others do this so I'm just gonna wing it and make my own "categories" to answer and they may change as time goes by. Also I'll be adding my post baby pics, at my dr today I found out I've only lost a TOTAL of 5lbs since having Aiden. He was 6lb 15oz at birth people! Oh well, I still think I'm looking pretty good for not losing weight....

1 Week

Stats: As of Wed he was up to 6lbs 7oz and still 19 1/2 inches long.
Clothes Size: We had to go out and buy a few outfits in premie size. Of course 2 days wearing them and now they are getting snug. It's okay though, we got them on clearance anyway. Some of his newborn stuff kinda fits - like if we roll up the waist on his pants they fit and if you don't mind saggy onesie butt. lol
Sleep: He sleeps a lot through the day, but in short amounts. At night time we have turned into a co-sleeping family. It was not our plan, we have a bassinet by my side of the bed, but when he would wake up every 1 or 1 1/2 fussy and we learned that he would sleep in 4 hour stretches in our bed... well the choice was pretty clear. He sleeps in his boppy pillow between mommy and daddy and we are all a lot happier.
Eating: This kid is a little piggy. They say newborns eat about 2oz a feeding but when I pump (we do pumped milk in the night so daddy can give mommy a rest) he eats more like 3 or 4oz in a feeding. Or I will feed him 15 mins and each boob and then 1hr later he is hungry again. I'm just a big milk machine.
Low point of the week: Well it was a mommy low point. I have gotten mastitis on my left breasts and it hurts badly, it caused me to feel really run down earlier this week and I cried and had a total breakdown. Kris just put me in bed at 7pm, and then came and kept me company and took care of Aiden and let me rest. It was nice, but I was just soo overwhelmed. Now I got meds and should start feeling better and hopefully will get more sleep.
High point: Oh boy there are soo many. Aiden snores in his sleep, he gave daddy a "thumbs up" twice now which makes daddy thrilled. Just the way he looks at us is just a good thing. He got a clean bill of health from the dr this week too. Going shopping with my mom and his mom.
Funny Moment: Watching Kris change Aiden's diaper in his mom's van outside Baby'sRus.

Mommy update:

Dr's appt today put mom at 251. This is only 5 pounds less than how much I was the day I had him. How sad, I still haven't lost his birth weight. I do feel flatter though and I don't think I look like I'm carrying around 42 extra pounds. You tell me... pics start at 38w5d (my last pics I had him at 39w3d) and end with today at 1 week pp.

38w5d
38w5d
38w5d
24hr pp

24hr pp
Mon - 3days pp

Tue - 4 days pp

Tue - 4 days pp

Today - 7 days pp

For those asking about my header...

Okay so I used Scrapblog.com to make my header, I love scrapblog. I also used it to make our baby announcement. I was just doing a screen shot and then cropping the image in paint. It made it small and didn't work out well. Yesterday I figured out that if you go to "file" then "export as jpeg" you can save it in it's full size to your computer. Then I just went to the layout on here and where the header is I just uploaded the image and tada, it worked and came out big! Now of course I have played around previously with the size of my blog columns and such and I don't know if that helps. I am not sure any of this makes sense either, hope that helped somewhat.

Yay!

New blog header! I finally figured out how to make it the full size I wanted it, and of course it was easier than ever. I changed up the pics too of course to have a pic of the little guy. :)

Birth Story

It all started as planned. A scheduled induction on Wed Oct 7th. We arrived at the hospital at 7:30pm and were immediately ushered into our room and told "we had 5 deliveries come in in the last hour and we may not be able to keep you here toinght". She was nice to us, but you could tell they were really busy and overwhelmed. So I got a gown on and a while later they came and checked on Aiden - after 20 minutes on a monitor he was doing great, so they told us to go home and we would try again tomorrow. She said they couldn't admit me because they didn't have enough staff to make sure that we were fully taken care of which isn't fair, or safe for us and Aiden. I was heartbroken to leave without my baby in my arms. I don't know how, but I got some sleep that night. We waited for the call the next morning. I took my "last pregnant shower" again. Sad.

Thursday we got a call at 11am telling us to come on in at 12:30pm and we'd get this show on the road. The plan was still to use the cervical ripening procedure which would take 6 hours before we could start pitocin. Well, before they could get started, I didn't have any IV's hooked up or anything, surprise surprise I start gushing stuff! I went pee and it kept up. Then I sat in bed and a huge gush came out, I really did feel like I was just sitting there peeing myself. It was the strangest feeling ever to sit there and just keep gushing. They did a test on it to see if it was my water, and the test said no! However, I kept dripping through my exam and I just felt it was my water despite the test, I mean we had problems getting a positive HPT too, why wouldn't we have problems now! Hours later they determined it must have been a forebag and I really had been ruptured.

During my exam they decided that he was at -1 station and I was 30% effaced and now at about 3-4cm. So we were making some progress, I was happy he was dropping down. At 5pm they started me on pitocin and an IV. I was already having regular contractions when they started pitocin, but they were not very painful, they were about 2 or 3 minutes apart though. I made it up until 8pm when I decided I should get the epi before they got much worse. They say "don't wait too long to ask for the epi" and boy I thought I was right on it when I asked. I was doing okay, I was still only at 4cm but 15 minutes later I thought I was dying! So the request was sent out and I was 3rd on the list to see the dr. I was starting to have some bad contractions, then they got worse! By 9pm I was sitting in the rocking chair in soo much pain. My entire body was shaking soo violently during each contraction. I was having my mom sit on the floor holding my legs down and my husband was standing behind me holding my head and shoulders so I wasn't shaking soo badly. I had a cold wash cloth on me because I was feeling sick to my stomach with each one. They were coming back to back and all I could do was breathe through them and cry. It had taken me a while to decide to just order the epi because my pain was still manageable, boy was I so surprised that in 15 minutes it went from my smart "get it early" choice to praying the pain would just end. So 9:30 rolls around and finally we are getting started on the epi, I was beyond thrilled. I did really well laying on my side and being still while he did his work. I thought I would be golden after this.

30 minutes later I was still feeling every contraction on my low right side. I was starting to complain and feeling the need to "breathe" through the contractions again. I kept telling the nurse that something wasn't right, I just wasn't getting the relief I thought I would be. By 11 the nurse could see my pain again and we ordered a redo. At 1130 the head of the anesthesiologist department came in and he felt really bad for me. He was so very gentle when he took out and redid my epi. Of course it was even easier than the first because I was half numb. Within 5 minutes my entire lower half and even part of my right arm were soo numb. The dr had given me a double dose to start with to make up for the first time. I was able to rest finally! My dr checked me next at 1am after some resting and I was at 4cm, 50 % effaced and -1 station. We were finally seeing some progress now.

Aiden didn't like the monitors that were on my stomach. He had been moving around so much then entire time or kicking the monitor or just plain finding a way to get away from it. The poor nurses had to readjust the stomach monitor soo many times throughout the night. We thought that once I rested he'd calm down. We were wrong. His heart rate just kept jumping around and the decision was made to check me and put an internal monitor on his head. This was at 2am and I was now at 6cm. I was thrilled! Then we had another set back with my monitor. It wasn't picking up any contractions and they were worried about that. Another internal monitor for me it looked like. At 220am they placed this one, it just fits right between his head and my cervix which I found very interesting. By this time I was at 7cm. In only 20 minutes I had gone another cm! Now were are talking. The dr decided to stick around (she was the on call that night) because we didn't think it would be long until delivery time. I was getting nervous and couldn't believe I would be pushing soon. How do you prepare for that? My nurse told me to rest, she encouraged Kris, mom and I all to cat nap until I was woken up by the urge to push.

We had been napping the best we could but I kept having to be watched because Aiden was somehow still managing to be a pest with his monitor. His heart rate kept dropping and then would be normal again almost instantly. 3:45am and 3 nurses came rushing into the room. They immediately grab me and start turning me onto my side. Then they watched the screen next to my bed. Not a minute later they swiftly flipped me to my other side. They were talking amongst themselves about "maybe try on all fours" "no, she is way to numb to attempt that" "he's not coming out of it" then it happened.... they started unplugging everything and all I heard was "we gotta go now, call the dr". My poor mom and Kris are sitting on the pull out sofa in a complete haze and I'm laying in a now fastly moving bed not understanding what was going on.

As we were all being rushed out of the room a nurse explained that Aiden's heartbeat had dropped a lot, into the 80's, but unlike the other times during my labor it would not come back up. They were going to have to do an emergency c-section because they needed to get him out now. I was crying, and all I could say was "is he breathing?" I was soo worried about him, I could care less that I was having surgery. Kris and mom were left with the knowledge that his heart rate was dropping at the OR door and they told Kris they'd be right back for him. They were both in tears as well. Once I was in the OR they moved me from my bed to the operating table. His heart rate was becoming stable again so my dr explained that now we were not going to rush, we would slow down and make this as normal as possible as not to stress out me or the baby further. I was finally starting to relax and understand what was going on. I loudly announced to everyone in the room "well at least now I won't poop when I push!". I got a lot of laughs, but I was being super serious, I was concerned about it all day. I just love my dr, she was very reassuring that Aiden was okay and laughed at my comment. The same anesthesiologist was at my head and was explaining everything to me (they are going to clean you, now they are shaving you.. they are taking scrubs to Kris and will tell your mom everything is okay now etc). He gave me more drugs to top me off at this point and tried to calm me down until Kris could come in.

At 3:55am surgery was started and we found out right away that Aiden was sunny side up and had his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck twice. My dr said that even had I gotten to 10cm we would have ended up in a c-section because his cord was just cutting off way to much oxygen and pushing would have been too stressful for him. It made me feel better to realize that this would have been the end result no matter what - better to have done it early then to cause him stress for who knows how much longer. He arrived screaming at 4:14am. Kris stood up with the video camera and taped him just as he was pulled out. Kris was sobbing by this point and I began to cry when I heard him cry. I was in shock that was my son screaming. He scored 8 and 9's on his apgar tests, which is wonderful. He was 6lbs 15oz (far from the "at least 8lbs" we expected), 19 1/2 inches long and his head was 13 inches in diameter. It was beyond amazing when they brought him over and I finally saw his face.

Kris held him near my head and they finished closing me up, we were a family. Aiden was screaming when he came out but within 30 seconds of Kris holding him and me talking to him Aiden was wide eyed and just staring at us. You can see this in the pics, he just calmed down immediately and just took in our faces. I didn't realize it right away but the anesthesiologist had grabbed Kris' camera and was snapping our first family pics for us. He took a lot of them and I'm soo grateful he did. He was a wonderful dr, but more than anything he was a compassionate man. In the recovery room my mom got to see him, Kris walked out holding him and my mom just started crying. Everyone was okay but so emotional after such the emergency. Aiden was quickly put to breast but my arms were still numb and I couldn't hold him just yet. I had the shakes again as I came down from the meds. Later on they would cause me to have extreme itches too.

Having a c-section was something I knew would be a possibility because I was being induced. The fact that my water broke on it's own because induction started didn't change much. I knew the chances and didn't mind if it happened. I just always assumed if I had a c-section it would be because I wasn't progressing on my own. Or that he was too big to fit after hours of pushing. To have to be rushed to the OR and not knowing if he would be alright in the end was the scariest thing in my life. I hadn't even seen his precious face and his life was already at risk, nothing I could do. In the end I believe it happened like it did for a reason. I believe had we continued with labor and found out about the cord near the end it would have been much worse. God has a plan.
Aiden and I have been doing so very wonderful. He is eating a lot, and like a little champ. He has gone down in weight though, hopefully that will turn around with tonight's weigh in as he is getting close the losing the 10% max allowed, that is a bad sign. He is soo small he looks premie to me and his newborn clothes just swim on him. He has such a personality already too, but I will write more about him and his characteristics in many other posts I'm sure.

My healing has been soo much easier than I ever imagined with a surgery. I was up and out of bed by the 24hr mark (3am Sat to be exact). I took a shower on my own by Saturday evening. I've been keeping on top of my pain meds so that I don't get to a point where it's hard to get comfortable again. Better to take drugs every 4hrs than to wait 5 and be in pain again! I still have a nice swollen stomach and a scale in the hall says I'm still the same weight as when I came in to deliver. Isn't that nice? Oh well, no worries. This so called 6 week period I'm supposed to have seems like a joke to me. I am, and have since right after surgery, barely bleeding. I mean to the point I could wear a pad all day and still not leak. Not that I am, I'm creeped out by using pads so I'm obsessively changing my mesh panties. I've heard such minimal bleeding is wonderful and is due to the c-section. I guess my dr was sweet enough to really umm, clean me out if you will, before she closed me up. My recovery has been so easy that each new nurse (a new one every 12hrs) is shocked to see me and mentions it.
I can't believe it all happened the way it did, but I have to say I am in love with my birth story. I was going to be induced, I ended up starting labor on my own, I went through 2hrs of awful, horrible contractions (just because I was a wuss during them doesn't mean I shouldn't get credit for it!) and I think in general we all handled the emergency situation pretty well. I'm now a c-section mama and looking forward to having at least 2 more kids. I fully plan to embrace this easier recovery and just schedule c-sections in the future. This was God's plan for me. Maybe he didn't want to see me poop either?

I wrote this for myself and for my family and friends to read, but over at Mama Kat's this week's topic happens to be the story of your birth, so I get to share it with all the blog world now too. I hope you enjoyed.