Bachelor Talk Tuesday.

Surprise, surprise, sur-frickin'-prise.  Jake picked the WRONG girl.  Now I'm not saying Tenley was the RIGHT girl - I'm just saying that she was the better of the two choices.  Kinda like I didn't want Bush or Kerry for pres, but I had to vote for the best of two evils.  Ya dig?  Okay, let me get back on track here - I'll start at the top of the show....

Jake is spending time with his parents and bros and talking about each of the ladies.  Well he is dumb enough to explain to his mom that yes "Vienna is the girl that everybody hates" - how's that for an into.  Then to make it better he tried to explain her faults which only made her sound worse, so he finally just shut his pie hole.  Enter Tenley.  First can I mention that her and Jake were both wearing some lovely shade of Pepto pink?  Wasn't that special.  Then Tenley proceeds to answer every question either talking about her ex and how that changed her or going on and on and on about Jake's parent's love for one another.  She's the girl who brown nosed the teachers in school but honestly didn't realize that is what they were doing.  I loved how Jake mentioned to his family that Tenley didn't know how he can rough house and play around rough, but Vienna did.  Now, if we are talking about sex then umm, yes I agree she may not be able to handle your "rough play", but if he really meant playing around then I have to say having someone who tickles you and throws you into a pool playfully usually is NOT a big deal breaker. 

Vienna's turn.  First thing out of her mouth is that the girls all hated her.  Oh such a good impression to make for yourself.  Then the sister-in-laws tried to lighten the mood by asking questions because they knew she'd be "brutally honest"... that was a bit strange... "do you think I'm pretty?"  Uhh... right.  I thought the worst part of her time with Jake's clan was when they asked her what she liked about Jake and she literally couldn't answer.  I mean how do you say to his family that she likes his abs and how he "plays rough".  Not exactly the thing to tell mom about.  So she instead told his mom that "he brings out the best in me" Wow - if what ABC showed us was the "best" of you then you are worse than I thought girl.  Lastly I'd like to point out that she is from some rural po-dunk town with one blinking light (which is new as she mentioned) and yet she was afraid to get into the mud.  She really is her daddy's Troll princess.

On Tenley's date with Jake it really upset me how he made her cry.  I mean I get the lack of "spark" or whatever he claimed was missing, but the way he said it was all wrong.  He asked her assuming she felt the same way and of course, she didn't and then felt bad about herself.  He should have said "I FEEL" instead of saying "How do YOU feel about OUR LACK..." - get it?  Someone needs to teach him to be a little more tactful.  Of course Tenley didn't hold it against him too much on the date.    I still felt bad for her, it really sounded like he told her he had more "spark" with Vienna.

The big finale...

Vienna drawing a heart in the sand was super corny, not that watching Tenley stare off into the scenery was anything better.  We have enough shots of Vienna topless thanks to the web, did they really need to show us her taking a shower?  Very classy.  I was very sad that Jake didn't feel the need to talk about his conflict with Chris Harrison.  I mean we got so used to their heart to heart talks that I was fully expecting him to ponder over the 2 rings with Chris.  Now the girls start to show up... in helicpoters... clearly just another reason for them to play that dreaded song we've all grown to hate love.

Telling Tenley off really was done poorly.  If you plan to break up with someone why is it that guys feel the need to give you the "I love you"  "You are special"  "This is soo hard for me" crap?  I mean if it really was hard, and they loved you and felt you were special and wanted to be life friends... why are they breaking up with you?  You saw the hope in her eyes when he started out and he really should have just said "I'm sorry" to start with instead of "I love you, I really do..."  Tenley had the most graceful and classy exit to date though.  I knew she would.  She left him by saying "I loved falling in love with you.  I love feeling alive again.  Thank you for giving that to me".  At least she waited to say "you are making a mistake" until the limo.  I thought that showed her true heart.  Way to go! 

Vienna's actual proposal was dumb.  The whole give back your daddy's ring business made me gag.  Then of course we heard the most wonderful song ever... *cue music* On the Wings of Love... I don't have much to say here other than Vienna is googling eyed and her eyes rolling around remind me of a bobble head.

Here we are "after the rose" and I think Tenley looks really pretty.  I thought Ali looked elegant, and to be honest she seemed the most sincere and normal tonight than the entire show.  I hope she makes a good Bachelorette like Jillian.  I still like her, I mean what girl doesn't have some cattiness to them (besides Tenley of course...).  Jake still didn't answer for Tenley what he meant by "physical" when he gave her some line about something missing.  I loved how she said to him that she felt sorry for Vienna because he obviously had such a hard time saying goodbye to Tenley.  Well, it was something along that line, I agree - I'd be kinda sad if my big proposal came right after he said I love you to someone else.

Vienna still didn't win me over in the after the rose special.  It didn't help that Jake called her "his baby".  Gag - yeah Kris calls me baby sometimes, well more often babe, but I don't think he means it in the "you act like a 10 year old spoiled brat" kind of way like Jake means it.  I get that Jake doesn't listen to the tabloids - I mean he didn't listen to the other girls either so I really shouldn't be surprised by that.  Lucky for Vienna she gots herself a dumb one.  Garsh.  Lastly, the brought one the singer for that damned song... I said it last night, but if I hear that song one more time I just may cut my own ear off.  That is all.

Good luck to them, I give it 6 months in the "real world".  Sorry for typos - i'm doing this really quickly to get it posted.  Just read past them... sorry!