I've been struggling with myself. :(

At my dr. appointment last week we decided my current dose of meds was the right one for me and we would just keep it as is for now.  My only concern was that I have been having trouble sleeping.  My dr. recommended that I start taking my meds in the morning instead of right before bed and see if that helped before we tried sleep aids.  So I promptly started that night in hopes of it working out well.

It hasn't.  It's made things worse.  I had a little better sleep one or two nights, but not much of an improvement, and my mornings suck.  You see, by the time I would normally get up I was in a good mood, my meds had been working for hours.  I felt like I was "normal" for lack of a better term.  Well, since I switched to meds in the morning, I've been lacking that feeling.  I wake up cranky.  I wake up not in the mood to enjoy my coffee.  I am lacking my desire to blog, both write and read them.  I feel like I take my meds asap when I wake up but they take until 1pm or so to really kick in and make me feel like I'm doing okay.  It sucks.  My hubby, mom and Aiden have all noticed a slight change. 

I made the decision today after a particularly bad morning, the worst in a while, that I would rather give up sleep and feel peaceful in the morning.  The possibility of better, non-medicated, sleep isn't worth giving up half my day.  I think I am going to give a sleep aid I try as well.  I can't imagine getting a good nights sleep AND waking up feeling good.  It sure would be nice.

I just thought I would take the time to type out my thoughts.  I just had a minor fight with Kris over stupid things, I am sipping wine and starting to relax again.  I think I'll go take a hot shower before bed too.  I just didn't want to go to bed with all these thoughts stuffed in me and thought I owed my very supportive and loyal blog friends a little explanation for lack posts this week and comments.  I've been trying to read through your blogs, but I've just not been myself.  So hopefully after a few days back on taking my meds at night I'll start to be my usual self in the am and can get back in the swing of things!  Stick with me...