3 weeks!

Whoops, I'm behind! Not a surprise really. 3 weeks has brought us a growth spurt full of nonstop eating and no sleep! Boy it's fun! Little man is growing well though, and I'm learning to sleep sitting up in the rocking chair. No real update though. He outgrew one newborn outfit, it's a romper that is too tight in the crotch. All the other newborn clothes fit fine or are even big still, like the pjs he is wearing now. He has more personality these days. He only wants to be held facing out, he is looking at the monitor while sitting on my left leg now (i'm right handed), and grumbles when you hold him any other way. He really does grumble, it's too funny to listen to him.

Breastfeeding has brought me to tears all week. I want soo badly to enjoy it and do it exclusively, but well, it's draining me and the night feedings are awful. He eats well all day and then from 10pm-3am he wants to eat for an hour (30 mins each boob) and then an hour later he wants to eat again. I'm really exhausted by 1am and do not enjoy the nighttime bonding like I should. Instead i'm clock watching waiting for it to be over and resenting Kris because he gets to sleep the entire hour I'm feeding Aiden. That's not fair to my husband or Aiden. I decided after tons of tears and feelings of guilt and failure, that tonight I will give him a warm bottle of formula at bedtime. Even if he is up all night I will get more sleep feeding him a bottle than boobs. I know I can start pumping more (I only do it now when my boobs ache) and do BM bottles at night, but right now, this week, I need a boob break! I don't know if things will change later, like if i pump more and stop formula, or if we keep doing boobs during the day and formula at night. Only time will tell. I just have come to the conclusion that if I'm exhausted and stressed and dreading feedings at night I'm no good for Aiden. They say that a happy mommy makes for a happy baby!

In other news, I'd like to ask for prayers. Kris' job has really slowed down and we are stressing about money. We are luck, both our families are willing and able to help out, but prayers would be nice! Thank you! I will now leave you with a weekly pic update!